Trust Issues

Last year in 2014, I decided to take up swimming lessons; although I previously had a few of my friends try to teach me but I was too terrified of sinking/drowning. As you can imagine I was scared and excited at the same time.

Anyways so I and my friend signed up and thankfully by the end of the 10 week course I did learn how to swim. But there was a problem. I would only swim only by the sides of the pool because I could hold on to the walls should I get scared. However when I had my friends around I find my fears were not as heightened and I would take full advantage of the pool. Have in mind that I only swam at the university’s gym pool at the time and there were life guards consistently on standby; but I wouldn’t dare swim in the middle of the pool or even try new tricks if I didn’t have a friend with me that day.

I had trust issues and quickly understood it was a knowledge thing. I didn’t trust the life guards- not because I doubted their skills but because I did not know them as individuals to trust my life in their hands. You see, because I ‘knew’ my friends I was able to have a higher trust level that they would help should something go wrong while I was swimming.

I realized quickly that is was a similar situation when it comes to truly trusting God. We hear about how all powerful and mighty God is; some of us might even sing about it every now and then. But when we are actually faced with situations where this trust on God’s al-mightiness is required, we gravely fall short- well I gravely fall short.

God helped me to understand that just like my trust level for different individuals varied based on my knowledge of them, so it is with Him. And to fully trust Him, I must give myself to truly knowing Him.

Part of Daniels 11:32 reads- “but those that KNOW their God, shall be strong and do exploits”

I used to settle for just the teachings I had at church and not really dedicate time to understanding or at least try to understand something about my creator. In truly knowing someone, there has to be at least some form of relationship existing between both parties. Yet many Christians although we claim to have a relationship with God don’t actually do. If you read the bible daily mostly to tick off the box of necessary Christian duties of the day or you pray to God and don’t wait to actually hear if He’s speaking back or you go to church or give to charity because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do, then I’m afraid to say it’s more of a religion than a relationship here.

I learned that you still carry out the aforementioned practices while in a relationship with God but the difference is- WHY you do them. Having a relationship with God I find, makes these practises more the acts of love and devotion than acts of religion.

Some of the benefits I see in my life because of my growing knowledge of God through my relationship with him are; being very much assured of my salvation; not feeling guilty should I happen to miss church one Sunday; learning that God is not set on catching me out and judging me should I slip up but is more of a loving father that is ever so gracious especially in times of our weakness.  Also learning that as a father loves his child and willing to do favors for him/her so is God with his own.

He is always willing to help out in the littlest of ways should you ask him; and more recently I learnt that since God is for and with me, I have an edge over the powers of darkness and when I am faced with life’s challenges it wouldn’t be the end of me.

One last scripture I’d love to leave you all with is Jeremiah 29:13- “You will SEEK Me and FIND Me when you SEARCH for me with ALL YOUR HEART”

Trust is built with time and we need to allow ourselves the opportunity to truly know God day in day out even if its in the littlest of way…. It really does help with your trust issues I can testify to that.

Love and Blessings….

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