There was no week that passed without my thinking about my abandoned blog and how I need to get back to writing. I even have a Facebook page dedicated to this blog and at least once every 2 weeks I get notified about people that keep reading, sharing and loving my blog posts; and it makes me realise that God is going to let his word be heard with or without me.
I could sit here and give a ton of reasonable excuses as to why I have not kept up but I have been doing a bit of self-reflection and I know in my heart that I had not continued because I was ashamed.
You see my blog posts are primarily to encourage people to strengthen their walk with God and inspire through my own stories. Stories that are real and raw for you all to see that regardless of how messy we get; God remains faithful.
However, I couldn’t get myself to that place anymore because I had been feeling like a hypocrite for quite a long time. I didn’t want to preach what I didn’t practise and so I unconsciously stopped it all. I know when I write these, God uses them to also speak to me and for some reason I wasn’t ready to face the truth.
And that’s when I realised that sin withholds you.
I heard a statement last month that resonated so strongly in my heart- ‘a guilty conscience blocks boldness and we need boldness to come before the throne of grace’. And I thought to myself that’s it. I couldn’t get the grace I needed for doing the very thing God has called me to do; why because I was not ready to surrender my guilt and get the help I needed.
I did come around and that’s not because I feel self-righteous and ‘worthy’ enough to write these posts. It was because God gave me boldness to come to Him by reminding me that His Love never changes.
I began to realise that whatever convictions God kept laying in my heart, I needed to adhere to it strictly be it big or small because the minute I don’t, I start to feel insecure especially about my faith; and I don’t thrive very well with insecurity. I like to be sure that even though I’m not perfect, I am taking active and consistent steps to follow Christ’s lead.
So I am back… and I have come to the realisation that when God has placed a purpose on your life, it’s in that you find fulfilment.
The devil will try hard to distract and even give you reasonable rationale for stepping out of purpose. You however have to be completely honest with yourself and wholeheartedly ask God for help; and He will come to your rescue.
I am excited to start writing again and gosh do I have lots of experiences and lessons to share. So I am going to challenge myself to put out at least one post every week. Now pray for me because I need every help I can get.
Love and Blessings…