In the thick of it…

bp3It had been an interesting couple of weeks and if I’m being honest, one heck of an emotional roller coaster. All sorts of emotion were felt; the highs and the lows.

Every now and then we all have those moments when we feel like we are definitely in the thick of it… especially with so many complexities surrounding every single situation that you begin to wonder that with so many pieces to the puzzle how is it going to work itself out.

So I found  myself shedding silent tears that really reflected the heaviness within. Silence became an avenue through which I was reminded of life’s complications. So I felt overwhelmed.

I was then reminded the only thing I could possibly do especially when things are beyond my control was to Pray.

Cliché isn’t it? But it was either that or I keep going the way I was, and feeling helpless. Now with praying, I knew someone was listening. Someone who got it and understands the depth of emotions I was feeling and that in itself is comforting. It didn’t mean that things automatically fell into place the minute I started praying but it did mean that I gave myself the opportunity to have FAITH.

Sometimes what keeps a lot of people (like myself) going in life especially with the constant challenges thrown at them, is not the fact that they are very strong or what have you. It’s really because you get to a point where the only thing you can actually do to help yourself is have faith.

Someone told me that whenever in rough times we need to remind ourselves that all things work together for the good of them that love God. Now before we come to see that ‘good’ may take a few years but at least something is in the works. We however must learn to remain in love with God. Understanding that separating yourself from God during the difficult times ends up worsening the case; because now you are definitely not sure if things are going to work out for your good.

Difficult I know; but you see with life, it’s a consistent learning process. I’m beginning to learn that you prepare for the worst while earnestly hoping for the best. Now this should not be done out of doubt but out of a place of peace that God’s will be done. Even Jesus Christ prayed to get out of dying on the cross but ultimately gave room for God’s will to be done. And His will is always best.

One final thing, I’ll leave you all with is that regardless of how murky life gets, you don’t stop living. If we let it, life has a way of sucking out all the joy we have; so we don’t. We learn to fight for our peace, focusing on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. We say no to depression, to heaviness, to hopelessness and to bitterness. And we say Yes to Joy, Peace and Hope.


Love and Blessings…



Fight for Your Peace

peaceful blogSo I woke up one morning, trying to figure out how my day would progress while trying to get ready and all. Then I started to feel this heaviness and I felt my attitude was turning towards a direction that I didn’t want it to go. Funny thing was, I had no reason to feel the way I felt and I knew if I didn’t watch it, my day would turn sour. I started realising that lately at the time it had been a hassle to keep my peace so that morning I decided to play a sermon by Joyce Meyer to distract me while I continued getting ready. Funny thing was the broadcast was about fighting for your peace and one of the ways she suggested we do that is starting your day expecting something good to happen. She also suggested we start our day saying out loud “this is the day that the lord has made and I will be glad and rejoice in it”.

Well later on that morning I went ahead to study Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus was teaching about not worrying for our basic day to day needs but what especially caught my attention was verse 34 (MSG); “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time come”.

From that scripture I was reminded how easily I lost my peace and joy because I kept trying to figure out what will happen tomorrow and how I may be able to control the outcome (I am not God so I don’t know why I even try); and the more thought I would put into it the more I started to worry about things that may or may not happen. I also realised that I had started psyching myself to not expect my day to go the way I hoped so as not to get disappointed hence my occasional sour mood; and I came to realise that mindset is a twisted perspective that will make you lose your hope.

Joyce Meyer said something that morning that resonated with me. She said if we are worried about something happening or not happening, chances are it may well happen or not happen; so what’s the use of getting yourself worked up- up until the time it does or does not happen. Instead give yourself the gift of a positive mindset, not allowing yourself to lose your joy and peace because it should in the first place not be based on your circumstances but on Jesus Christ the prince of peace.

I know it’s easier said than done because even the devil will not be at rest until we lose our hope, our peace and our joy. He plants thoughts in our hearts that if we are not careful would make us start getting agitated over nothing and that’s why scriptures instructs us to cast down imaginations, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). The book of Psalms goes further to tell us to “search for peace and work to maintain it”.

It is a continuous effort to maintain our peace and joy but by the grace of God it is possible because His strength is perfected in our weaknesses. Some of the ways I find works for me is continously giving my self to God’s word, through bible study and sermons, church fellowship, talking to friends/ family especially  those in the faith, confessing positive thoughts also helps.

There are obviously a host of things that can cause us to lose our peace such as sin, strife, pending obedience (disobedience), etc. and we have to also be sensitive enough and ask God what exactly it is that is making us lose our peace; and Him being a good God would always show us if we listen closely/ honestly enough. His thoughts for us as thoughts of peace and not of evil to give us a future and a hope and as we set out to fight for our peace we have to also trust that God himself is in this fight with us.


Love and blessings…

My Faith was Uncertain

What if everything’s not going to be okay; because at this point I’m tired of waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So I had this recurring thought and started questioning if- ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THEM THAT LOVE GOD. I was tired of hearing this. I mean if anything good is meant to come out of my being sad and depressed then I’m yet to see it- was what I said.

You know when you’re assured of God’s purpose for your life and you start working towards it with all faith, all heart and all mind. Some people even do a complete 180 turn taking that leap of faith but that path they set on does not necessarily embrace them the way they pictured it.  Then you question yourself, your belief and your God.

I began asking God I mean; I thought this is what you wanted for me, after all this was mostly your idea so why cut me off when I was so close. It’s like you pulled the rug from under my feet and it hurts.

This was the point I was and my Faith was shaken.

I was not anything like those the Psalmist described to be like Mount Zion that cannot be moved because they trust in God. Everything shook me and I began to panic.

I went through the whole God I am not happy with you phase and finally came to my senses I guess;  Well God also had his way of subtly teaching me life giving principles that found root in my heart.

I realised I was shaken so much because my faith was anchored on the wrong foundations. My faith was based on what I could get from God and what He could do for me. My faith was centred on how I felt and on my circumstances. And you never come to real terms with this truth (if it’s your truth) until you get to a point where you’re forced to ask yourself why you believe what you believe.

I had to learn to build my faith in God alone and allow Him to help me trust Him. To trust in His Sovereignty and that He is a holy God and has no evil in him. I had to learn to rely on and fully submit to His expectations for my life and not mine because He made me.

I also painfully realised that God does not always lead us through the safest of routes in life.

Sometimes He may ask you to walk on water without warning that you may sink in the process only because He wants you to learn the real essence of solely trusting in Him.

And He wants to develop in you, a Fearless Confidence.

I guess this is why Shadrach Meshach and Abednego were ready to be thrown into the fiery furnace because that was not enough to move them and I believe that right there is Life.


I couldn’t shun God

You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

So I’m a planner. Although I’m not the most disciplined individual but I do try to stick to and work towards my plans whether short or long term. All my life well since I could remember I’d like to believe everything had gone as I planned. Obviously there would have been set backs and obstacles but nothing out of the ordinary.

Then this year happened and is still happening.

Nothing I planned came through; not even close. I worked hard, prayed, had faith and completely believed my dreams would start unfolding itself this year but nothing happened. I was first living in denial and then when I came to full acceptance, I then took a turn for the worst. A downward spiral of my emotions I’d call it.

I even questioned my faith, wondering why a good God will let me see these dark days. So I stopped everything. I stopped believing that anything good can come out of every single unexpected turn out in my life. I was tired. I started sleeping a lot just to avoid dealing with reality. I still went to church though, but my heart was far away. There were few times when my attention was captured as a result of God talking directly to my situation either through the preacher or through a song we sang at church.

You know my response? I shrugged it off and kept telling God to get off my case and asked if he cared so much then why let me be in this position in the first place. I was tired. Thankfully I had a lot of running around to do so I didn’t have much time to deal or wallow in self-pity.

Time went by and I started to pray again only after realising without that God factor in my life I didn’t see much hope and a lot of things I never get afraid of was only because of my deep seated trust in him. And I was not ready to lose that. I was not ready to start a life where I’m not assured of any good thing happening to me; a life where I felt practically alone and no one to face the world with and hence exposing my heart to even more fears and worries. So yes I was not ready to start that kind of life. Of course God had his ways of wooing me back most especially through the amazing friends and family I am surrounded by. Thankfully these people always pointed me back to a God I once was very ‘rubbing it in your face’ passionate about.

I started resorting back to telling him about every worry, every fear, every anxiety I had and really pouring my heart out to him every time my heart was heavy. And you know what? Every single time I began to feel better and have faith again not because anything I wanted started happening but because in the midst of it all I am assured that I am not alone because He’s with me.

Love and Blessings…

Photo by google images (silence)


Choose Your Thoughts!

So what am I going to do today, oh snap! I’ve got lots of revising to do, actually I need food, no I need to read my bible, Okay focus, ugh I hate it when someone keeps sniffling, work work work (uni work)!!! Ugh, I need to hit the gym soon though etc.

And I’m sure most of you would be thinking what this girl is on about? Well I just gave you all a glimpse of some of the thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis.

Like me everyone has random and sometimes willful thoughts go through our minds every day. Some of them good thoughts, some crazy thoughts, and some not so good thoughts; but the question is what we do with these thoughts that bombard our minds daily. Ever heard of the verse in proverbs that says – as a man thinks in his heart so is he? Well for me that simply spells out -you are what you think!

So if I define myself based on the thoughts I dwell on would I look good?

I used to often lead myself to believe that there are just some things you can’t control and one of them is the thoughts that come into your mind.
Well that was and is a lie! And as my church folks would say “a lie from the pit of hell”

You see as I grew in God, He helped me to understand that I have control over my mind and my thoughts. I have the power to choose what I think, taking me to the scripture that says I have the power in Christ to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ, bringing every thought to captivity to the obedience of Christ.

When you think of it, bringing our thoughts to the obedience of Christ is us saying if it’s not in line with God’s word (Christ; John 1:1) then I don’t want to be thinking this. And yes there are persisting thoughts but you have to learn to counter it with speaking out God’s word to yourself. Remember faith comes by hearing.  So with time you begin to build faith in (believing) what you say and you eventually will (I did).

The bible even gives us a guide to the kind of thoughts we should allow in our minds ” And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8 NLT)”

I Worry…

Oh I worry,  I worry if I will make the right choices, if I will get the grades I want at Uni,  if I’m good enough for certain ambitions I have, and there was a time that I would worry way too much that when I choose not to worry about certain situations, it didn’t feel right.

Just last week, in one of my lectures at Uni, I learnt about how different factors aside from the normal biological factors have been linked to the development of cardiac pain. Guess what some of these factors are; anxiety, anger, educational level, social class, level of Job Skills, fear of job stability, social rapport etc. Well this got me thinking that God was not joking when he keeps hitting on the fact that we should be anxious for nothing and completely put our trust in him because not only do our spiritual lives get affected when we don’t, but our physical lives as well.

I can go on and on about scriptures I know that are linked to not worrying and just trust God. However the question is even after knowing all these scriptures do I still worry? emm yeah sometimes, but do I let it  affect and influence my life? Nope. Because I have come to an understanding that every day will have its own challenges but how I respond to it is what matters and even the bible acknowledges it (Matthew 6:25-34).

So whenever worrying thoughts come to my mind, instead of dwelling on it and sulking, I just tell God about it, choose to trust him with it and continue with my life… Need I say that sometimes I still tend to dwell on those thoughts even after telling God. Nevertheless, there’s always that reminder that brings this peace of knowing that regardless of what happens there’s nothing so bad that Jesus Christ cannot make the best out of. So why not let Jesus worry about that and stop stressing? After all He makes all things (good and bad) work together for my good and has made everything beautiful in its time.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”