Maintaining Your Individuality

Lit light bulb amongs unlit incandescent bulbsSo I was at church the other day with a friend and at the time I was still fairly new to this church environment and my friend was even more of a newbie to the church than I was. I usually am very quiet, reserved and a bit withdrawn when I’m in a situation or an environment I consider foreign or new so I’m not exactly my real self. I guess it’s my way of gradually getting to know my new environment and understanding how to fit in.

However this friend of mine whom I was still getting to know at the time didn’t really seem to care if she was new; she was her loud, jolly self like she had known all these people longer than she really had. I was surprised if I’m being honest at how confident she was, not really minding how people would perceive her. She was not rude or anything she was just being herself. Now I liked it… I even secretly envied her confidence. I thought to myself now here is someone who knows and maintains her individuality.

Then I got to thinking about how sometimes I fail to stay true to myself probably because I think it’s not in the social order at the time to do so; or because I’m adhering to some sort of unspoken rule that governs the social setting. Now I’m not saying act crazy, misbehave or anything of that sort. The information I’m trying to relay is; how many of us truly show up enough to be truly known.

I feel like if God wanted us to all be the same, he would not go through the trouble of locating us in different continents, with different colours of skin and with different traditions and values. I believe God wants us to understands the beauty in diversity and hence get yet another revelation of how infinite He is. As Christians a lot of us tend to conform to this ideal we have in our heads as what a good Christian looks like and how they should act especially when in church; which is good when walking in accordance with the bible but we tend to forget that God made us individually unique for a reason and purpose higher than us. Sometimes we worry too much about how we are perceived by the world in general and as a result rob the world the opportunity to catch a glimpse of how beautiful and ingenious our creator really is.

Now nobody is perfect and I as well as everyone have flaws but this shouldn’t hinder us from showing up in what I’d call our full glory. God had to teach me to be proud of whom He has and is still making me to be. To find my identity in him and not in the way people perceive me to be. To not try and be anyone else but to be me; because that way He gets us show us off as the fragrance of Christ; in other words- His beautiful work of art!
Love and blessings

Finding my Feet

blog photo 3There are a bunch of curveball life throws at you and sometimes you barely get a breather before you’re forced to face yet another curveball. If you’re anything like me, you’d whine, cry, or even shutdown completely and live in denial until you have no choice but to deal.

I realise that life as we know it is definitely no eutopia. However with time you’ll get to see that life is beautiful if you don’t fail to see that its twists and turns are integral parts of its beauty. The beauty of being broken and made whole, the beauty of forsaking and gaining, the beauty of letting go and being accepted, the beauty of the pain that made your tender heart even stronger, the beauty of hatred being overshadowed by love, the beauty of pure friendship and companionship, the beauty of family no matter how many people are part of it, and so much more.

Now this is what it’s about; living and let live. Sometimes we are probably too scared to really live in the present and move forward because of past experiences that hunt us and most of the time you fall prey to the past repeating itself maybe because we fail to fully let go.

Until you realise that you have to find your feet and be confident in your existence as not just there to occupy space but to fulfil purpose (whether you know it or not) then you can really indulge life.

You may be at a pretty good space now or you may be at a one of the most daunting periods of your life or you may be in a neutral position whereas life is not that exciting but it’s not so bad either. Wherever you are in life, you have to learn to take command of the situation and deal with it.

There are times where I’ve found that I’ve prayed about a situation and just left it to God to manage it and not necessarily bother about it again. Whereas there are other times where I have to keep praying about a situation and constantly have to remind myself one way or another that God has got me and He will never leave nor forsake me and He will work things out the way He sees best at the right time.

I have therefore come to the realisation that finding my own feet is not necessarily about me but it is about the stability I have found in God the author of life and hence I am equipped to face life.

Love and Blessings…

 

photo credit: google images (in the midst of a storm)

Beauty for Ashes

He will give you his beauty for your ashes (Isaiah 61:3)

The trauma was so intense that you locked up the pain, the shame and the guilt away, so you don’t really have to deal. Maybe like me you make yourself forget about it and brush off your exterior so well that it hides how much of a mess it made you inside. I mean after all its all in the past now, you don’t need to talk about it and even the bible said old things are passed away right?

Now I have come to know Christ everything should all of a sudden be ok, not minding whatever wounds that needs to heal, what fractures needed to be made whole, what aches and pains that needed to be suited. Well for me everything didn’t become ok immediately.

So I went on, holding on to a particular pain that I made myself believe I had let go until one night. I was with friends and one thing led to another that I reopened this wound I had led myself to believe was not there. As I was narrating the story just out of mere contribution to the gist, I started tearing up unwillingly. I was able to convince my friends that no I was ok, I’m better now, not minding that I was still seriously tearing up. So I left to my room and that’s when it hit me that maybe I haven’t actually let go just yet. I remember blaming God that night for what happened; not coming through for me even after I prayed so much about it. Then I remembered I had this Joyce meyer’s magazine under my pillow that I’d been meaning to read. So I did and came across an article (not one more night with the frogs) and the words only told me that God was right there with me.

You see God helped me to see that I was unwilling to surrender my ashes for Him to give me his beauty (Isaiah 61:1-3) and until I did, I will not get the full beauty of being in him. Maybe what happened to you was not your fault, but it doesn’t have to be an excuse to stay unhealthy. You can’t undo what people did to you and you have to realise that the most important moment in your life is RIGHT NOW. Press into your relationship with God and get His beauty for your ashes, your joy for mourning and praise for heaviness.  Those were some of the words God used to comfort me that night. I’m not able to give proper answers as to why God allowed me go through what I went through at the time but I know I’m a better and stronger person now.

Some of you like me may need more prayers and teaching to bring you into full healing, whatever it is  you need maybe more counselling, just make sure to surrender your ashes. I surrendered my ashes to God and I got His beauty.

Am I beautiful?

flame-tests blog

You will keep in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts You (Isaiah 26:3)

One question I was guilty of asking a lot especially back then in secondary school. In my first senior year some of the boys in my class were not the nicest of people and said things that made me feel insecure. At some point I had lots of pimples on my face and in a bid to make them go away, I used a face thing that ended up burning parts of my face. Well u can imagine how that turned out lol. Insecurity does not even do justice to how I felt then.

Moving on to first year uni now, getting to know God and all, I realised I still was not confident about answering the question positively. So I guess God decided it was time to deal with it and I finally opened up to someone about how I truly felt and bless this lady because she encouraged me Alot. Few days later my Pastor who was not aware of what was going on, told me to go learn the song “Designer’s original” to sing at church. The words of the song started my healing experience….

Long story short, I didn’t get healing until I opened my heart to ONLY what God had to say about me [Fearfully and wonderfully made!]. You see alot of us give more attention to what other people have to say about us than what God has said to and about us. God is the maker of us all and it is only the manufacturer that knows his product inside out. I had to give in to accepting only God’s word continuously. The bible tells us to guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23) meaning you have the power to allow your heart receive or reject. By God’s grace I chose to accept ONLY His opinion about me and not even my opinion  about me (then) because it wasn’t in line with his word.

It took a year and some months (after I sang that song) for me to step out of my room without makeup and feel good about myself but it happened eventually. Remember his Grace is sufficient just ask him to help you believe only His word about you and He ALWAYS comes through…