He still loves me!

God's LoveHi, my dearest readers 🙂 first of all I apologise for the late post this week esp. for those who keep up. It has been one heck of a week I tell you and not exactly in the best of ways… so much have gone on, some of which I am still trying to make out what I’m supposed to learn or benefit from it because I’m all about everything working together for my good you know (Romans 8:28). When I do find out, and learn and understand, I promise to share when the time is right ;).

Although one thing got me through this week and it was a scripture God has been banging in my heart that “we love him because He first loved us” (I John 4:19). I was thinking emm I kind of know you love us God so what am I supposed to get from this? Truth is I really didn’t know how much God loved me.

Because I have had my doubts, asking questions such as- does God love me ALL the time??? At the points when I do really bad and mean things or wrong Him does he stop loving me??? The answer is He loved and still does love me even at my filthiest and this is same for everyone. You see my friends, God does not ever stop loving us- sinful or perfect because from the very beginning he loved us. What God wants is NOT for us to hide away from him thinking He’s one angry God, out there to get us anytime we fall short but He’s as loving as can be and ready to embrace us the minute we turn to him. So let’s approach his throne of grace boldly and continuously with sincere hearts and he will lovingly receive us EVERY TIME. So the times during the week that I fell short, I asked for mercy and tell myself He still Loves me whether I feel it or not… 🙂

[However, this is not an invitation to deliberately sin as God is not mocked, whatever you sow you reap 😉]

Let God make the changes not you

spring-renewal blogIf you have read some of my posts you’d realise that I’m always emphasising on the fact that the real essence of grace is shown in our weaknesses. So later on in my life I’m now sure that Jesus wants me to come to him just the way I am and he accepts me and loves me and so do I. However, I begin to ask- what do I do with this, do I keep living the way I do or what really do you want from me Jesus?

I then decided to continue with the regular church traditions I was used to, going to church, making sure to read the bible everyday even though some of it didn’t make sense and I forgot most of it at the end of that day but reading the bible made me feel good about myself. God helped me to realise that he’s so much bigger than just the outward practises (which are not wrong) but he wants a heart that sincerely yearns for him not striving for a good outlook because not everything “good” is necessarily about or pleasing to God. He helped me to learn the real essence of studying the bible with a genuine interest in knowing him and why he loved me so.

You see God’s word has the sort of renewing power that all I really needed to do really was give myself to it and consciously or unconsciously my lifestyle gradually began to change. I didn’t really set out to make any changes but God through his word was (and is still) moulding me into his perfect will and I can honestly say that I’m a better person in a better place in my life. Remember God’s word is not there to condemn but to set us free so let’s give ourselves to it with a whole lot of expectation that  God will reveal himself uniquely to each of us.

Accepting Grace

Accepteed

Let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace in time of need (Heb 4:16)

So I lied to someone sometime back just to make myself look good in front of the person mostly because I was not proud of the truth at the time. Then got convicted in my heart and asked God for forgiveness but for some reason, I didn’t want to accept the fact that I was forgiven (even though the person already knew the truth). I went that whole day not feeling good about myself, telling myself I deserved to be punished and can’t be forgiven just like that because I knew better than to lie (being a serious Christian) at the time.

Later in the evening that day, I went for a prayer meeting at church still feeling very bad and at some point we were told to let people know what God had laid in our hearts about them and I said God wouldn’t talk through someone like me and didn’t open up to hear him speak so was just sitting. Then someone came to me and whispered mercy! And I broke down right there knowing that could only be through God’s inspiration. He (God) had been trying to let me know all day, that it’s okay that I’m forgiven but I wouldn’t accept it.

However He helped me to understand that that’s where grace comes in. Letting me know that we are not saved by our works/good deeds but by the fact that God decides to show us unmerited love regardless of how good or bad we have been. Sometimes we set standards that we can’t really keep up with so as to feel that we deserve God’s love to us. Truth is we are not really able to reach that point where we are fully deserving of God’s graciousness and mercy because that’s life as we know it. So we might as well accept his grace, allowing it to guide us through each passing day because on our own, we cant really do much…

Do I Qualify?

qualify

Accepted the way I am.

You see I grew up in a society where the definition of Christians are those who have it all together, who are spotless and without blemish (lol), who do the right things at the right time who are ‘holy’ all the time, etc. To be honest I found out I was not happy with myself. I’m thinking now why would God answer my prayers when I keep falling short, why would God use me for anything at all or bless me when I barely reach the standards being set. I don’t even qualify for any of his promises because if you look through the bible most of his promises are for the righteous and bottom line is, I don’t think I qualify to be called righteous. I believed this for so Long until God opened my eyes to the real truth.

I got it all wrong and twisted, he didn’t want me to try clean myself up, he wanted me to come to him as filthy and dirty as I was and he’ll do only what he alone does best. He  proved it to me through different scenarios in the bible, how he came not for those who know their way and think they have it all together, but for the Lost, those who have messed up, big time. For example, Matthew 5:3 (NLT) says blessed are those who are poor and realise their need for him, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Romans 4 was what really opened my eyes.  What struck me was vs 14 of that chapter that “if God’s promise was for only those who obey the law, then Faith is not necessary and the promise is pointless” and BOOM! That was it for me. That I am counted as righteous (vs12) because of my Faith in him and nothing else… Yes nothing else! So I qualify!