People won’t always be there for you but…

Ever had those moments when you really need to talk to someone because you are having such an overwhelming experience be it happy or sad ( most especially) and no one seem to be with their phone or available at the time? When I say no one, I don’t just mean anyone but those we regard as our nearest and blog pcture (expectations)dearest.   Then they call back, text back or become available when you’re probably done crying and don’t want to start crying again or when the euphoria of it all has died down abit and the high is not there for you to really shout in their ears as much you really wanted to? Yep! been there done that!

For me it was frustrating when I’m upset or emotional and need someone to talk some sense into me or comfort me; and they are not available at the exact time I need them to be. Don’t get me wrong I do consider myself blessed with such amazing friends and family and they have been great. But the thing is none of them (myself included) are omnipresent. Yes and no one can actually fill those shoes except for God.

I had to learn the hard way that no matter how much we try and we’d like it to be that way, we can’t make people always be there for us and we can’t always be there for people. You see I’m Christian and all for putting God as first and the centre of my life as is my prayer; but I never really actively practised it especially during my down times. I mean everyone remembers to thank God when they get a break and are having such a pleasant moment; but not everyone stops to pray/ talk to God FIRST when they are hit with life challenges. If you’re anything like me it’s after you’ve probably complained about it and talked about it to loved ones before you actually consider praying about it. And a lot of the time it is not done in that order intentionally.

You see it wasn’t after I had been disappointed time and time again did I realise that I needed to stop trying to fill God’s place in my life with people. There are great people in this life but people are people and the only perfect being we have the privilege of knowing and having a relationship with it and who will always… always be there for us, is God (Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit). I had to come to learn that instead of placing excessively high expectations on people, I should turn that hope and expectation towards Jesus. The Lord has blessed us with the Holy Spirit who has been described as being the greatest comforter, being able to teach us all things, as Love etc. and a lot of the time we need to genuinely believe that for ourselves in order to fully take advantage of what we have.

Now remember no man is created an island and we are created as a community on purpose; and this is not a post to downplay its importance. Rather the message I’m trying to relay is how about God actually be first in your life. How about He be the one in whom you find satisfaction, contentment and comfort; how about He be involved in our lives as much as our loved ones are; How about He actually be God in your life. Speaking from experience it will actually salvage relationships in your life because you’re learning to place your peace and joy on God and not on people.

For me it is a continuous learning curve with this one, and a lot of the time I am prompted even by people if I have actually prayed about the situation before speaking to them about it. And I’m learning to see for myself that every little variable in my life matters as much to God as much it does to me. God is not just interested in the big things but also in the small things and allowing Him get involved helps us to truly realise that we are never alone, and He never leaves nor forsakes His own.

 

Love and Blessings…

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Fear – (pt 4- the liberation)

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Perfect Love casts out fear

So if you have been following the fear series up until this point I want to say well done and I hope it has been somewhat beneficial to you as it has been to me.

Over the course of the series I have spoken about three major fears I have had to let God deal with in my life; and acknowledging those fears was the starting point of my healing. I read a book titled lost and found by Sarah Jakes and she said something that resonated with my spirit.

She said she gave her fears a voice so that they could no longer whisper to her destiny.

Now at first that didn’t make sense but after I pondered upon it I realise she was trying to convey the message that our fears thrive best in secrecy, bringing it out to the open and facing them head on meant stripping it off its power and hold on our lives.

The only difficulty I find in trying to let go of certain fears is the fear of having to face them. It’s a twisted cycle how fear works. However God helped me to understand that really there is nothing to be afraid of because his love has got it covered.

If you remember in the first part of the series I mentioned that fear made me set up walls in my heart to block out anyone or anything that had the potential of hurting me and the bad part is, I started blocking out even those dear to me. However when God had pointed it out to me that it needed dealing with I was scared that putting down those walls meant setting my heart up for disaster.

But God helped me to realise not until I let him take my fears will I be able to fully relish in the abundance of love available to me. So I had to trust God enough to hand over my fears to Him and leave it with Him.

I was able to grasp that God’s love for and in me had the power to protect my tender heart. So allowing myself to live in his love letting it exude through me to everyone I come in contact with was me saying I may get hurt but God love’s is enough to heal me back to life.

The same goes for the fear of rejection and failure as I had to fully realise and acknowledge that my security and identity was not in any one or any life circumstance but is in the one from whom I came. The one in whom I live, move and have my being. My source; and my only anchor in life is His assured everlasting love for me.

Yes I may get rejected again, yes I may fail numerous times and yes I may get hurt time and time again but it wouldn’t matter because those things are no longer what makes and defines me. I am assured daily that as long as God has set his love on me, I’m okay because His love is perfect without flaw and has got everything covered. Because He is the perfect love Himself.

And perfect love casts out fear.

Love and Blessings…

Don’t rush it

Dont rush it blog

He has made all things beautiful in its time

So I was rushing to heal because I mean who likes to feel crappy. I did try to suppress it though and claimed to be okay but deep down, I really wasn’t.

You see I had asked God to heal my heart and he had instead given me a new heart but my immune systems were fighting against it and I was not taking the necessary drugs to supress it. Say what?-Just keep reading.

At the time Joyce Meyer was carrying out a 30-30 challenge worldwide, 30 minutes of the word for 30 days. I felt God tugging at me to take on the challenge. I remembered at first saying that’s not for people like me, it’s for those that need to get their word right and learn the importance of spending time with you. I’m way past that, me and you we cool and besides I know when I get down on my word studying business it goes deep so you know.

Well He opened my eyes to see that maybe it’s not just for the newly born in Christ but for people like me who felt they had arrived but were left behind because they never really continued their journey.

Yep I had stopped digging deep, I had stopped laying myself at the master’s feet; I had now become my own dictator as to when the word comes. Thankfully He didn’t leave me maybe because He saw my ignorant heart or maybe His mercy just decided to abound.

So I took up the challenge by His grace of course. I found myself waking up early in the morning sacrificing that extra hour of sleep just to spend time with Him and his word and from where the strength came forth, I know not.
For the days my flesh got a better part of me, I still managed to find time during the day to spend with His words. No doubt there were times I didn’t come around to it for an entire day but He helped me know from the start to expect it and not be discouraged when it does happen.

He was my strength in my weakness.

Long story short, I not only took on the challenge but I set myself up to hear and learn from God whichever way I knew how. A month later I had started attaining wholeness and I didn’t even realise it until it was pointed out to me.

I started to know who and whose I am. Started growing and basking in the love of Christ, started enjoying his presence even after the challenge and most of all I started seeing the Light in my darkness.

You see we live in a rapidly paced world and in bid to feel and ‘look’ better immediately after a hurt  we turn to whatever suits or numbs that pain even if it’s for a short while and most of the time whatever ‘it’ is, leaves us even more wounded.

However God is saying how about you get the water that never leaves you thirsty again. How about I go with you through the healing. How about you let yourself heal by letting me love on you.

I found myself

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Weeping may endure for the night but Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)

I felt empty, rejected, and alone and it made me question who I am. I remember saying to myself- no this doesn’t happen to me. You see I hear of other people’s roller coaster situations and I’m quick to give as much encouragement as I can to help them get through their situation.

Now it was time for me to actually encourage myself but I couldn’t find any words and all I remember was telling God to heal my heart. I kept repeating it so much that I didn’t really realise the magnitude of what I was asking God to do me.

I didn’t realise that telling God to heal my heart was not just asking him to make the pain go away but allowing him bring to light the darkness in my life, exposing insecurities I was not sure I was ready to expose, showing me certain parts of me that I didn’t even know was there and now I still think to myself and say wow!

You see if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about asking to have a personal encounter with God, be it based on healing or something else is that God doesn’t deal with the superficial.

God is such a deep being that he deals with roots, deep roots. Be careful when you ask God to get involved with something in your life because He’s going to go all in. But you know what? He’s going to give you the courage and strength you need to face whatever needs facing.

So when I said God heal my heart, He did and I found myself.

Now I thought I knew myself but everything I knew was on a superficial level. God showed me who he has made me to be on a deeper level and the phrase “fearfully and wonderfully made” began to make more sense.

That phrase is not even about some sort of outer or even inner beauty; it was way more than that. It was more about an intricately made being with a massive potential for greatness, it was about the power God has placed on the inside that needed to be tapped into and about how we are such a designer’s original and not a counterfeit of someone else.

So I found myself and I want to encourage you today that when it seems God is silent just remember he is working on the roots; so don’t stop hoping and praying because who knows what you’ll find.

My Love Story (pt 2)…

For abit more context I suggest you read my love story pt1

So  I’m sure some of you are still wondering what is this love that I claim to have that has changed my whole life.

This Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. This Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Say what?  No human being can give you that! As I’m guessing is the thought of some people reading this and yes you are very right, no human being can give you this kind of love.

Like me some of us have gone out to look for love in people to satisfy our selfish desires. We never really go out there thinking now who am I going love so hard no matter what, that they wouldn’t know what hit them. We rather think the opposite of that. So we finally believe we’ve found “the one” and this one falls so short that it paints a terrible picture of love.

Now I’m no expert on love and relationships so I’m not going to sit here and start giving r/ship advise lol. But here’s what I know.

You get to love so hard only because you’ve been loved so hard. In other words you can’t give what you don’t have.

You see that whole description about the love I have, came as a result of one being and that’s Jesus Christ. I opened my heart to his love for me and accepted it.

He loved on me so much that I now begin to love me the way he does because as unworthy as I am of this love, He made me worthy by loving me.

So now I’m loving myself based on his example of love; I start exercising patience with myself, started being kind to myself, stopped allowing myself to look out and get jealous but look in and find something of value to love.

I started forgiving myself, I stopped hating my imperfections, I begin to believe in who I was made to be, I became hopeful again and I started trusting God to help me continually love myself.

I’m still in the process and lest I forget, the preacher was right, this love does cast out fear- every time it’s being made manifest. Now, I can’t help but exude this love to the people around me because I know what it feels like to be loved.

And if you already have this love, do well to share it with our hurting world because only God loves best…

My Love Story…

What is this love that everyone is dying to have these days? Is it a feeling or better still an emotion? What good does it really do for us when we seek it from other people because we all at some point try to seek it out from a person and when the person fails to deliver we get all bitter…

Better still why do we seek this thing called love so much in this world today. Is it to make us feel better about ourselves or to help our insecurities or to avoid been lonely or just because we feel like we have got to have one because everyone else does…

We all get to that stage in life where we question what this whole love thing is all about and sometimes it sickens me when I can’t really find answers. So I just give up and go with the flow like everyone else I guess.

Now I know God and so as is my usual custom I turn to God; asking why are we all in the chase of this thing called Love. If it’s such a beautiful thing why do I see so much hurt and pain in the lives of people who claim to love one another or better still those who say they are in love.

I thought the preacher claims your word states that perfect love casts out fear, but this love I know breeds doubt, fear, panick, shame, hate, and even more insecurity. This thing that I call love is not permanent it comes and goes and oh when it comes I’m not sure if it’s even good cuz I start to think compromising thoughts and if not careful they gradually become actions and when it goes I feel empty oh so empty that anything but love fills.

So I had the wrong idea of what love truly is.

And God showed me a Love that contradicts my every opinion about what I thought Love was.

Love so sweet that I could almost taste it…
Love that makes me so in love that I can’t help but exude it at every opportunity I get…
Love so pure that at its presence the whiteness of the snow seems dark…
Love so amazing that the only thing that comes out of it is Good!

Now this Love, I didn’t get out of anybody. God didn’t bring me some oh so perfect prince charming to sweep me off my feet. As a matter of fact I’m as single as can be lol (story for another post).

But this Love was placed on the inside of me and it changed my life, my thought pattern and my entire being and I can’t say it all in one post so this post is going to have a  2nd part!